Reset and Rejuvenation Day 31: Inspirational Quote

Sunday, January 31, 2021

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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 30: Here's to 2021

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Here's To 2021  

It's a little hard for me to come to terms with the fact that one month has already gone in this new year. 2021 has already ended up being such a wild year. But for whatever reason I am still very hopeful. 2020 was just such a hard year so it's nice to be back into a more hopeful mode. 

I don't have much else to say on this post because I think I've said all I needed to for this new year. This entire month lotta experience with a lot harder to do than I thought it would be. I can already tell that crate in contact every single day for this year is going to not be for the faint of heart. But I also enjoyed coming up with a contact and really pushing myself. 

I am excited to see what I learned from this experiment this year. I am hoping the 2022 will lead "as told by Akchita" to be just what I need or want in my life.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 29: Education Goals

Friday, January 29, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Time to get that degree

There is a part of me that is utterly terrified to publish this post. There’s another part of me that is so excited to publish this post. Ever since I graduated in 2017 I knew that I needed to take some time away from school. As someone who loves school I realize that 16 straight years of education really got me down. I needed time away from the classroom to really explore the world and explore who I was as a person. However, I always knew that I would be going back to grad school. When I took the LSAT in 2019 and I got a very bad score I took that so personally that it essentially destroyed all faith I had in myself and my abilities as a student. After getting that score I was convinced that I would never be a lawyer and that I would have to find another career path for myself. A whole lot of soul-searching and a whole lot of conversations with various people lead me to decide to retake the LSAT in 2021. This time, however, I have a better understanding of how I need to study to get a good score that I need to get into a good law school in New York City. I have definitely regained a lot of the few that was lost in myself. As I said in my life goals post, my focus is on myself and no one else. I allowed myself to feel in this way because I compare myself to others and their journey. I didn’t take into consideration that they had been working part time and studying for the LSAT or they were lucky enough to simply study for the LSAT and not do much else. Everyone’s journey is very different and so is mine especially when it comes to my education. So, here are my education goals for 2021. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 28: On Relationships*

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Cultivating Strong Relationships 

*This is not meant to imply romantic relationships.

When I was thinking about what aspect of my life I hadn't talked about yet, I came to realize that I had yet to talk about the relationships in my life. Not any romantic relationships but those with my family, friends, and co-workers were the ones I wanted to work on. So, let's talk about that. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 27: Mind, Body, Soul

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Horoscopes, Tarot, Oracles, Meditation and More  

One of the best things I got out of 2020 was my drive to better my mind, body and soul through guided work. Not only did I begin my journey with reading tarot and oracle cards, I also reached out to people to get their help on my journey. I have always been an incredibly intuitive person—confirmed by everyone who read for me—but I didn’t always know how to channel that institution. Luckily for me, I was able to find three incredible people in 2020 who helped me better understand myself and my circumstances. No, I didn’t get all of life's answers but it was incredible to have people affirm certain aspects of my life. As I mentioned, I have always felt very intuitive but I didn’t know if it was in my head and why I was this way. I was able to get some much needed answers to both of these concerns. Leaving 2020, I knew deep down that I needed to continue on this journey into the new year. I won’t go into too many details in this post but I felt like sharing this on the blog.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 26: Feeling like a failure

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
On Failure 

2020 really did a number on all of us. One of the biggest side effects of 2020 for me was the fact that it destroyed so much of the self-esteem that I had made for myself in terms of my work/education. My undergraduate experience was not the experience that I thought I would have. I learned quite a lot of things about who I am as a person and who I am as a student. While I learned that I truly do love learning and being a student, I recognized that there were a lot of other aspects of my life that I had not considered enough. For example, I knew that after 16 straight years of schooling I needed to take a break. Taking this break between undergraduate degree and graduate degree did not mean that I was not smart enough but it’s simply meant that I knew myself enough to take a break. However, 2020 really change that for me. Since graduating in 2017, I had worked so hard to get to a place where I did not think I was less of a person for only finishing a certain amount of school by a certain amount of time. All of that hard work and self-evaluation was destroyed in a matter of 1 year.

Even though I had gotten an undergraduate degree, I became upset with myself for not taking certain opportunities. I also became upset with myself because of the GPA that I graduated with. Frankly, it took me a very long time to separate myself and my worth from that number. It took me a lot of time to understand that just because my GPA was lower than recommended for law school, it did not mean that I would never go to law school. There was more to me than just a simple number. It’s so devastating to know that my mind has forgotten a lot of that. As I watched many of my peers graduate from law school, I rated myself for taking the time off between undergraduate degree and law school. I kept telling myself, “if you had gone straight into law school, you would also be graduating now.” It’s incredibly sad to admit that I can’t remember the last time I felt like such a failure as I did in that moment.

Even putting aside the whole school thing, when my company closed down because of the pandemic and I was left without a job, and I also felt like a failure. Aside from not going to law school, I hadn’t even managed to keep up a job. Obviously, I was fully aware of the fact that it was a pandemic that I did not cars. My company closing down and losing my job was not my fault. It was also something completely out of my control. But for whatever reason, my mind blamed me. I began to over analyze every single decision I had made leading up to that announcement. Maybe if I had done that at an earlier date I wouldn’t have lost my job. Maybe if I had a left the United States at an earlier date I wouldn’t have lost my job. Of course, I wasn’t even considering that any change of decision would not have left me with a job. My company was going to close down regardless of what decision I made.

Which brings us to now, 2021. If I’m being very honest, which I always try to be, riding the above was incredibly hard for me. I don’t know why but admitting that I was not doing well in terms of my work/education was not easy. It was also incredibly hard to admit that I had fallen down the rabbit hole that I had never wanted to come down again. And maybe this is me being a little too hopeful, but the air in 2021 feels a little bit different for me. By the time 2020 ended, I had done quite a lot of work to mentally and emotionally get myself into a better state of mind. I definitely think that that paid off because I am feeling a lot more at peace with the events of 2020 than I was before. I found that there were three main things I had to do in order to move on from feeling like a failure.

I realized near the end of 2020 that I am not the kind of person who can hide her emotions.
One of the most important things that I have to do in order to work through my emotions is actually go through them. I needed to allow myself to feel annoyed or angry or devastated about my current situation. Trying to act chipper and happy about my education was not going to lead me in any good place. After I finally allowed myself to feel my emotions, I came to understand that I made the best decision I could have. Had I gone to law school right after my undergraduate degree, I think that I wouldn’t have done well. The decision I made in 2017 was the right one, even if it was one that I never thought I would make.

Along the same lines, I had to really understand that I was not happy in China. I know that there are people who can work through the cultural differences in a matter of months or even a short amount of time, but I was not one of those people. There were a lot of barriers that I was struggling to walk through. I would get upset with myself because I felt like I wasn’t trying enough. What I didn’t understand was that not every place is going to be for every single person. I gave China a chance, and it was just not for me and that was okay. I will admit that giving China a chance opened my eyes to a better understanding of where I see myself in the future. Even more so, where I don’t see myself in the future. I also learned what I am looking for when I am living in a place. Living in China also confirmed the fact that I can survive in a completely new place by myself. The latter half of 2020 was spent pretty much coming to an understanding of all of these things. I can say that I am at peace with my decision to not return to China, regardless of how hard it was to get here.

The second part of this entire ordeal led me to understand that I am a kind of person who likes to have a plan. Unlike what I previously thought, this plan does not have to be incredibly detailed. Actually, I would prefer it if the plan was not incredibly detailed. Instead, a bare-bones plan is best for me. I’d like to know where I would like to see myself in the next couple of years. And so, after allowing myself to feel all of my emotions, I sat down to research some planning methods, short term and long term. I don’t entirely know where I found this but I came across an article that talked about breaking down goals into increments of 5. I needed to ask myself where I would like to see myself in five days, five weeks, five months, and five years. For whatever reason, those clicked for me. In less than 30 minutes I had the answer to all of these questions. They were specific enough as they needed to be and vague enough that changing them would be pretty simple. At the time of writing the list, one of my goals was to simply read 2 books in 5 days.

The third and final aspect of this trio was to talk it out with people. As much as I love journaling and as much as it has helped me, I’ve come to realize that sometimes I need to simply talk to another person. I tend to journal my feelings out or literally yell it out to the void. I’ve come to realize that this is not really helping me as much. However, talking about my feelings regardless of how hard it is to do it has been incredibly helpful. Whether this is me finally opening up to my family or going into some of my friends I trust, I really want to talk about my feelings with people. I would love to be able to go to therapy but I cannot afford that at the moment.

I don’t entirely know what this post is supposed to do. Maybe it’s just a place for me to vent about how I was feeling in 2020. Or maybe I am hoping to get something out of this post that I haven’t yet found. But I wanted this to be on this blog to help me in the future. These things could change at any time and it could be such a wild adventure. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 25: Inspirational Quote

Monday, January 25, 2021

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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 24: Health/Fitness Goals

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
What is health 

When I sat down to brainstorm what I wanted my fitness goals to be, I didn’t really anticipate this list. In the past I have not always been very kind to myself or my body when it comes to my fitness. I go down the rabbit hole of not being skinny enough or working out enough or eating better. I have really had to reevaluate how I look at fitness and health in 2020. There’s nothing quite like being left to your own thoughts that really force you to become better about them. So, here are my fitness goals for 2020.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 23: Planner set up

Saturday, January 23, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Planning my life in 2021  

I was in the sixth grade when I was given my first planner. I haven’t stopped using it since. When I first found bullet journaling in 2015, I tried that out. All of this to say, I came to realize early on that I needed a system to keep everything in line. The feeling of crossing out a task I’ve finished is absolutely amazing.

When it came to doing what I wanted to accomplish in 2021, I knew that I wanted a planning system. While I had been doing bullet journaling seriously since 2016, I knew that it was no longer a system that worked for me. I didn’t always have the time to create the spreads and it was too time consuming to come up with spread ideas that could work week to week. I knew I wanted to go back to a premade planner system. Which is how I came up with the system I have for this year.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 22: Self Care To Implement In 2021

Friday, January 22, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Getting better with self care 

I already talked about how little I implemented self-care in 2020. I feel as though 2020 should have been the year where I’ve made self-care a priority but that did not happen. I definitely want to change that in 2021. I created this list of self care I want to implement this year. Some of them might be a little more abstract and will not make as much sense, but they are things that I needed in my life. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 21: Self Care In 2020

Thursday, January 21, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Self care isn't pretty 

Self care for me in 2020 did not really exist. It’s a little bit sad to admit that but it’s true. But even more than that, I think that self-care for me was a little bit more superficial in 2020 and years prior. I would simply think about taking a nice, hot shower or taking myself out to eat at a restaurant as a form of self care. And while this is a form of self care, I didn’t actually go deeper than that. Aside from sporadically journaling my thoughts down, I didn’t really focus on the deeper parts of my life. I struggled a lot to understand what I wanted out of my life and I didn’t care for myself in order to figure that out. 

I think the key aspects of self-care that I did not consider was the mindfulness of it. I didn’t always think or care about the “self care“ that I was doing. Why was I only limiting myself Kerr to one day of the week? Why couldn’t my self-care not be small little acts of love that would add up? Reading, for example, is a form of self care that I love to indulge in. I have been a realtor for most of my life and I’ll definitely make the time in a day to read. I’ll love spending my time sitting on my bed or on the couch diving into a story I have never read. But in 2020 I focused so much on the number or on the hype that I did not really care about what I was reading. I read so many books that I could tell you nothing about right now because it was mostly mindless. The intention was to care for myself by getting lost in a fictional world. I needed to forget my real world and into a new one. That didn’t happen often in 2020. 

I also came to realize that I used journaling as the catch all self care method. I put so much into the words that I would write down on paper that I became anxious about journaling. I went days, maybe even weeks, without writing a single word. I ended up taking a form of self care they truly had worked for me in the past and morphed it into something that did the exact opposite. In 2020 I came in to understand that self-care is not a one and done with tuition for me. I needed to find little things every single day that could count as healthcare that would help me. I cared so much more about what future me could get from journaling that I didn’t allow present me to get what she needed. This has been an extremely hard lesson to learn but I think I finally learned it. 

This post probably seems a little bit ridiculous but it’s one that I needed to write down. There is some thing about forcing myself to type these words out that makes it seem so real. Tomorrow I’ll be sharing what forms of self care I want to implement in 2021. But before I could unveil the changes I made it, I needed to talk about why those changes needed to happen.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 20: Inspirational Quote

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 19: Habits

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Getting my life together  

Somethings that I was able to understand in 2020 that I had it for whatever reason understood before then was that I love habits. I love having a consistent thing that I have to do. Whether that is taking a vitamin every single day or reaching in 10,000 steps a day, I really like having structure to my life. Again, it’s another structure that allows for spontaneity because I cannot live without that but they are a little things I think I can create in terms of habits that will help make 2020 a better year.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 18: Finances and Budgeting

Monday, January 18, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
This is the question I need to answer 

I am going to be very honest and admit that I haven’t focused all that much on my finances in 2020. Aside from losing my job, I also did not qualify for unemployment and that just left me incredibly stressed. I also had to move all of my things from China to the United States in the middle of a pandemic...when I was not living in China. All of that added so much stress that I kind of let my finances take a backseat. I want to be transparent and admit that my finances are all right going into 2021 because I was able to get a job and that alleviated some of the stress I had about money. However, I definitely need to get back on track when it comes to my finances and I decided to set two simple goals for myself for 2021. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 17: Writing Goals

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Finally writing that book  

I knew that I wanted to focus more on my writing in 2021 after winning NaNoWriMo 2020. I regained a sense of purpose when it comes to writing. I genuinely have no idea what happened in November 2020 but I fell back in love with writing it. I finally understood why I love to write and what I want to write in the future. Taking both of these revelations into account, I created the following two goals.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 16: YouTube Goals

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Trying to be a YouTuber 

In 2020 I attempted to revive my book tube channel and I failed miserably at it. As I have said that in 2020 I want to offer myself more grace, I have decided that I will be re-attempting to start my book tube channel. However, I am also starting another tube channel! It’s wild to me that I am actually taking this chance but I am very excited for it. I have very limited goals for YouTube in general because I want to be able to reach them. I like having numerical goals because they give me something to strive for but I like to make the numerical goals work for me. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 15: Inspirational Quote

Friday, January 15, 2021

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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 14: Shows To Watch

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Watching all of the things   

I normally don't create a list of shows I was to watch (or re-watch for so many of these shows) but this year I decided to change that. I'm just going to get into this post. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 13: Book Blog Goals

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
All About The Books

2020 ended up being an incredible year for my reading. For the most part the worst my mental health is the more books I read because I’ll end up needing more escapism. All of that said, though, I am genuinely surprised at how many books I was able to read. Early on in 2020 I realized that I would be reaching the 100 bucks goal so I challenged myself to read 150 bucks. I reached the goal at the end of August and I actually gave myself time to not read unless they absolutely wanted to. 

 For this post I am combining my reading goals and my book blog goals. Both of those go hand-in-hand so I figured it wouldn’t be a problem to have them in one place. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 12: Personal Blog Goals

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Creating wild goals for this blog 

I had a surprisingly good year in terms of this blog. My goal was to publish 100 posts but I decided to take time off during the month of December. I didn’t really know what I wanted for this blog when I first began writing it. It was going to be a mix of reviews on the entertainment I consumed and personal posts about my life. I also am an avid reader so I included book reviews as well. Overtime and I decided that I wanted to switch my book reviews to a very specific blog for that. I was then left with this blog and so many ideas of what I wanna do. Which is as I mentioned in the post where 365 and 365 came in. 

After my brainstorming, I only had two goals for this blog. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 11: Career Goals

Monday, January 11, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Trying to start that professional career  

2020 has really forced me to figure out what I want in terms of a career for myself. I decided during my undergraduate degree that I needed to take time off before going to grad school. Since 2017 I have been doing whatever jobs I wanted to do and I think that I have finally come to a time where a grad school is the next option. However, I do need to earn money for bills and food in the meantime so I have figured out one simple goals I have for my career. 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 10: Inspirational Quote

Sunday, January 10, 2021

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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 9: Life Goals

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Life in 2021 

When I was doing the planning for the number of posts I wanted in January, I knew that I was going to be breaking down most if not all aspects of my life. I have posts coming up for my content goals and I have goals for my education and even in my career. However, I knew that there was one aspect of my life – – the overall life goals-– section that I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with. If I was willingly breaking down so many aspects of my life in separate posts and really giving myself tangible goals that I could definitely work towards, was there anything that I could have a goal that would encompass everything? Somehow I came to this singular goal in my life for 2021: 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 8: The Word for 2021

Friday, January 8, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
The Word for 2021

For the past couple of years I have been choosing a singular word that I want to embody the year. Some years, the world comes to me very quickly and other years are excruciatingly hard. There’s something about the challenge of choosing a singular word to town body 365 or 366 days that just gets me really excited. The word for 2020, Endlessly, was extremely hard to come to you. I took about an entire month in 2019 brainstorming and planning. It actually wasn’t until I had my plan for 2020 that I finally settled on a word. 2021, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. I had the word before I had any plans for the year. I guess I should now share that word: 


I think that looking into what I wanted for this year, and how I wanted to achieve my goals, it was pretty obvious that this word for perfect for me. I am firmly set in my decision to post every day in 2021. I have been doing the work the pre-write posts and get them scheduled to go. 

Even when I looked at my education or career goals, I had to have faith in myself and my abilities to reach them. There has to be a level of self assurance that I have to have in order to be successful this year. At the same time, I also need to be kind to myself because this year was hell and we don't know what the future could hold. 

Do you have a word for 2021? What is the word? Why did you choose it? 
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 7: When Plans Don’t Come Through

Thursday, January 7, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Re-Thinking Plans 

There has never been a time in my life where so many of my plants did not come through. Doesn’t it feel like the most 2020 thing to say? And if I’m honest, I didn’t think I would actually talk about this in a post. But as I sat down to brainstorm ideas for the month of January, and I realize that my approach to handling my emotions and reactions to situations that don’t go as planned has changed quite a lot.

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it before on this blog but in 2016 and I applied for the Peace Corps. I was beyond excited for this opportunity and a part of me was convinced that I would get a position. However, in March 2017 in the middle of class, and I found out that I had not gotten the Peace Corps. Before this time in my life, or I would have shut down. In the comfort of my own room or space, I would probably have a breakdown. There would be a lot of crying and getting through those negative emotions so that I didn’t accidentally unload on someone else.

However, that day in March 2017, he did not cry. Instead, I simply felt a sense of determination. I was disappointed because I didn’t get the position but I wasn’t upset enough that I couldn’t tell other people. I was set to graduate from college in May of that year so there were a lot of “what’s next for you?“ Questions to be answered. It was incredibly terrifying for me to tell people that I actually had no idea what was next for me because I had not been excepted into the Peace Corps. Being able to openly tell people that I did not get this opportunity especially after publicly talking about the fact that I was pursuing it was my blowing to me.

Somehow, during my four years and hellish study abroad experience, I had gained a sense of maturity that I did not think I ever would. I distinctly remember that the first thing I did after not getting the Peace Corps was making another plan. By this time I knew that going into grad school right outside of undergrad was not an option. No, I had to decide if I wanted to get a professional job, travel, or work part time and focus the rest of it on something else. By the next week, however, I had been accepted into the Disney College Program at least until December 2017, my life was set.

So here are three things that I have learned in the past couple of years about how to handle plans that don’t come through:

  1. First, it’s OK to feel your emotions. I appreciate the fact that I have always given validity to my emotions. Regardless of whether they are positive or negative emotions, I have always allowed myself the chance to feel them. I am not the kind of person that can keep her emotions inside because I will burst. So, now the first thing I do whenever plans – – especially big plans – – don’t come through as to feel the full scope of my emotions. Most of the time and that includes a lot of crying and journaling.
  2. After I am finished taking all of my emotions I’ll take the time to make a plan. Most times in my life I have plans already in place that I then go to reevaluate. Four example, I have a plan for what I want to do in the next five days, five weeks, five months, and five years. I will take that written plan, reevaluate it, and add and change as necessary. These kind of plans give me enough stability to have some sense of future but it’s vague enough that I don’t feel suffocated by them. 
  3. And the last thing I do which has been the hardest thing to do is to take everything day by day. I am the biggest obstacle standing in my way and I always have been. One of the things I’ve always struggled with is simply going with the flow. Over the past couple of years, this has been what I have been working it to change. Luckily I have gotten a lot better at this.

And that’s about all I have for this post. It is a little bit shorter than others and I am actually very proud about this. Not only does this mean that I have a better understanding of who I am as a person but I have actually figured out a system that works for me. As much as I love being spontaneous person, I have come to realize that I have to have some areas of my life a little bit more planned out so that I can continue to be the free individual I want to be.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 6: On Grief

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Grief Is Hard To Deal With 

This is probably going to be the hardest blog post I am writing for the month of January. I honestly considered not writing it at all but that didn’t feel good to me. This will probably be super short because I am still working through my feelings about this. In 2020, I lost my maternal grandfather. He has the only grandfather I have ever known since my paternal grandfather died when I was very young. 

Grief is weird in the sense that you don’t think it will impact you. I’d not think that I would lose my grandfather in 2020. He was diabetic and had a lot of other health issues but he always made it through. When he got sick, I was so confident that you would be perfectly fine. I couldn’t imagine a world where she wasn’t there. But that was not meant to be. 

I learned in my grief in 2020 that I have never truly understood my emotions around my immigration. The sounds incredibly weird but immigrating to the United States changed my life in a lot of ways. Many of them were positive but I didn’t realize how many of those ways were negative. Or, better stated, how they negatively impacted me. One of those Waze was the fact that we did not get to see family in India often. This of course limited my ability to have strong bonds with them. At the end of the day, they are my family and I love them and they love me, but I learned that there is such a difference. 

For me, I had to really work through The moments in my life that I did not get to share with him in person. I am so thankful that I visited him in 2019 because it ended up being the last time I saw him in person. Some part of me was so angry that I hadn’t seen him in 15 years in person. Even though 99% of the reason behind not going for so long we’re out of my control. Another part of me wondered if I could actually feel so much grief for a person I didn’t get to see in person often. My grief has really forced me to reevaluate how I view my relationships and the worth they have. He was my grandfather and my grief is valid no matter what form it comes in. 

As I am currently struggling to write more in this post, I am simply going to end it here. In 2021 I really want to work do you understand my grief about the situation more.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 5: Inspirational Quote

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 4: A Reflection on Work in 2020

Monday, January 4, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
Work In 2020 

If I could tell high school or even middle school me where I am currently, she would’ve laughed in your face. That Akchita would never have believed that I had not finished or even attempted to go to law school. The middle school/high school of cheetah had a plan and this plan was essentially set in stone. But little did she know that life was not as linear as she had hoped it would be. And if there was one area of her life that was going to see fast amounts of change, she never would have packed it to be her professional life. 

In September 2019 I moved to Shanghai, China to teach children English through Disney English. Now, as I write this post in December 2020, I am back to living in the states and my company no longer exists. One year ago from today I was finally understanding what I wanted out of my time in China, finding my footing at work, and really excited for what was to come in 2020. I was so ready for the fucking amazing year that I was going to have a 2020 that I never would’ve imagined what it’s become.

If there’s one word I can use to describe my work life in 2020 it would be adaptive. Now, if you had asked me a word in March or April or even June, I would have given you words such as “frustrating,“ “hopeful,“ and “unsure.“ The last thing I expected from my Chinese new year vacation home would be that guy would get stuck in the states. I also wouldn’t have figured out that I would be losing my job and that my company would be closing.

2020, like other areas of my life, has forced me to rethink what I consider work and how I want to build my career, whatever that might be. For the longest time I thought it was going to law school and being a lawyer but that's changed in the past couple of years. Undergrad was a rough time and not what I expected my four years to be like. There had been a lot of moments where I really questioned what my future was going to look like.

I truly thought that my job in China was going to be around for at least a year or even more if I liked it enough. I don't reevalutate my plans for my future until I've come to the point in that job where I think I need a break or I'm extremely unhappy. It's been the wildest year, both good and bad, and I haven't been this unsure of what's been going on in my life. I have finally figured out what I wanted to do in 2021 in terms of work that I'll share in another post.
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Rest and Rejuvenation Day 3: A Personal Reflection on 2020

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Topic of the Day: 
This Year Was Hell Personally 

I don’t know if there’s anything I can say about this year that hasn’t already been said. We’ve all been through so much this year and it’s been worse for me personally to. If I’m being very honest I am really nervous about this post but I am willing to be as open as possible. I don’t know if writing this personal reflection is even necessary because I’m sure everyone understands just what hell it has been. 

I’ll be talking about this in one post but I lost my maternal grandfather in 2020 which was the hardest thing for me to deal with. If that wasn’t the worst thing, I also got stuck back in the states and I lost my job. There hasn’t been a year so far where everything in my life has gone to hell. At the end of the day, however, I am happy to have made it through and survived. That is one thing that I am taking at least. 

Going off of what I just said, I think the one thing I’ve come to realize in 2020 is that I am incredibly hard on myself. Well this is a Notion I have always been aware of it wasn’t until this year where I had to fix it. Why am I so gracious with everyone else but myself? Why are others allowed to make mistakes and be forgiven but I am not? If I’m being very honest, 2020 ended up being a very reflective year for me. Well I didn’t journal as much as I wanted to during this year, there is so much I want to take from 2020 into 2021 and for the rest of my life. 

For one, I need to genuinely practice grace for myself. There were so many obstacles that 2020 put in front of me but I was able to survive all of them. 

Second, dealing with grief is not linear. This process will be extremely complicated and it's okay. I'm going to talk more about it in another post because this was such a big part of 2020 and one that will impact me forever. 

Third, I am the only one stopping myself. Honesty, I didn't think I would be where I am today if I hadn't worked on getting out of my mind. 

I thought about creating a longer list but there is something about three that really makes me happy. These three aren't that easy to deal with in the first place and they will all be life long struggles. 

Do you have any lessons from 2020 that you want to take into the new year? 
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Preparing for 2021: Why Am I Doing This

Saturday, January 2, 2021

Why Am I Doing 365 In 365?  

This is the most ambitious thing I have ever tried when it comes to any blog I've had in my entire life. 365 posts in 365 days is a lot to do but so is my subject for this month. 

For January, I want to focus on planning for the year. As per the title, I want to reset my mindset and rejuvenate myself for the new year. That's the theme for January, and every month of the year is going to have another theme. There are two primary reasons why I'm doing this: to simply write creatively and to figure out what kind of content I want on this blog. 
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365 In 365

Friday, January 1, 2021

365 Blog Posts In 365 Days 

As I sit here typing this blog post, I am staring at my content planner, wondering why I decided this was a good idea. But at this point, I have eleven of the twelve months planned out. I even have the graphics done for eight of the twelve days (luckily, I can make those pretty quickly so that's not an issue). 

For some reason, I was feeling incredibly creative in the last few weeks. I knew that I wanted to not only go into 2021 with a fresh mindset, but I also wanted to take my content planning to the next level. I decided to spend the month of January planning and making goals for the rest of the year. This included planning for the content I wanted to create and it wasn't long before this idea came forth. 

So, in 2021 I plan on posting 365 blog posts. As in, publishing a post every single day in the year. 

I don't know if I'm going to crash and burn--I'm hoping I don't--when it comes to in the next few months. I plan on scheduling as many posts as early as possible so maybe that'll help me keep up. I'm currently writing this post in December, a week before Christmas, so I have about two weeks before I start work again. 

If I'm being absolutely honest, I have no idea what I'm actually doing. This is going to take a lot out of me, but I think that I'm in a place where I can do this. 

I hope that you're all ready for this adventure. 
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